Module 2 · Part 1 of 5
The practice of caring is also the practice of communicating. A vital aspect of caring is to listen, so we can learn more about our friend's circumstances — often referred to as being part of a person's "journey." People exist in a context: they've come from somewhere, they're in a particular "place" when you talk with them, and they're going somewhere afterwards. Helping to learn about your friend's journey is one of the aims of the carer.
To learn about a person's journey, we need to "attend" to them. There are three important initial elements of attending: observing, positioning, and listening.
Verbal — we listen for the content: feelings, experiences, actions and thoughts. What's one statement a person might make in each of these categories?
Non-verbal — posture, facial expressions, focus, movement, reactions. What's one example of each that you might observe in a person?
Listening is the skill of perceiving what people mean by the words they use and the way they speak them. The delivery of words provides primary clues to a person's meaning, and non-verbal expressions are especially helpful in highlighting emotionally relevant information.
There are quite a few models describing good listening practice. We've used Active Listening above — this implies listening involves us in "doing" something. We all know the "inactive listener," the person who sits in front of us with a glazed, far-away look. Active listening implies we're attentive and trying to understand.
A more explicit model is known as LACE:
This is very practical, and reflects the active listening proposed in PFP. First, we listen attentively. We then acknowledge what's been said by paraphrasing (covered in the next topic) — which also helps us check we've heard correctly — and we can go further from there with additional paraphrase and questions to explore the facts and feelings being conveyed.
Other frequently used models are reflective listening — where, as friends, we reflect on what's been said — and compassionate listening — where we try to identify and understand the person's feelings. All are correct and useful; the advantage of LACE is that it spells out the process in a little more detail.
Continue to the next part of Module 2.